Romance

"I love you like a lunatic!"
This is very romantic.

"I eat like a lunatic!"
This begins to be creepy.

"I practice medicine like a lunatic!"
What?

"I fuck like a lunatic!"
And here we go again!

Dirge

In 1992 I won a life-time
supply of Fig Newtons which
Nabisco would only deliver to my "actual residence,"
and even after I explained that my
"actual residence" is the endless cycle of eternity,
Nabisco nevertheless refused to deliver my
life-time supply to a lake-side
ashram in Minnesota,
where Flora and I once recited
a dirge for Derwood Robinson.

Every monk in that ashram was
crazy about Fig Newtons!

Playground - Lakewood CA - 8/17/2014

 
 

Malibu

We rented this house on the beach to write lyrics!
We rehearsed our pitch on a Russian rocketship!

Did we bring enough pancakes?
Did we bring enough pancakes for a space-walk?

Did we stage a sneak attack of the sparkle-shark?

We rented this house on the beach to write lyrics
and most of the time we were happy, I guess.

Then we moved to Seal Beach, then New York,
then the far-away stars and the dark behind the dark.

Surprise

This was the season when we
learned to play the nocturnes...


Big

           slow

                       balloons

                                 bouncing

                                         around

                                              an

                                         empty

                                 ballroom.

This was the season of oysters and curtseys!
Tenors singing on sentry duty!

Your mom hired a druid to read the runes!

Your mom hired a druid to read the runes,
and all of them were curses!

Vision Center - Culver City - 8/9/2014

 
 

Maggot

Maggot walks into an
art museum and says...

"Show me the meat!"

It's a fast-moving maggot!
Maggot bigger than a hog!

Then it gobbles up the guard and
charges into a mob of tourists!

Maggot bigger than a Buick!
Maggot faster than a Maserati!

You can't get away!

You defaulted on your mortgage!
You don't even own a car!

All you want to do is vegetate!

Meanwhile the maggot eats Beirut!
Maggot eats Greenwich Village!

You can't kill it with hate-mail!

Maggot brighter than a thousand suns!
Maggot bigger than New York!

Bad Guess

Is this book about cannibals?
Yes.
Is there more than one cannibal in it?
Yes.
Did you marry a cannibal?
Yes and no.

I saw thousands of cannibals on a beach in Malibu
and all of them died of old age or drowning.

Promo

I bought a tacky watch!
I attached a

catchier tag-line to your
wacky cat-walk!

Woman, what do you want from me?

I gave you everything I had!
I can't give you any more!