Mop

Swampers walking home from work at
6 AM and I'm jammed in a limo with
everyone I know or ever knew.

Or maybe I'm riding a mop-truck,
and everyone I
know is a
mop.
 
 

Iraq Iran

Spank the sissy!
Spank the sissy's kin!
Win in Iraq Iran Iraq Iran Iraq Iran!

My beanie is bigger than your bedpan!
I nabbed your baby!
We can always breed again!

Win in Iraq Iran Iraq Iran Iraq Iran!

Can you paint the constellations,
or buy Batman back from the cinema of bedpans?
Am I under your beanie?

Win in Iraq Iran Iraq Iran Iraq Iran!
 
 

Rhipicera femorata

"How do you know but ev'ry Bird that cuts the airy way
Is an immense world of delight, clos'd by your senses five?"

-William Blake
 
 

8° inmortal

Bum

My decoder ring is beeping.
I assume it's a call from you.

You wanna talk about regicide?

I'm already dead!

My I.D. is a dental enigma!
I'm the Thumb of God!

I'm the Thumb of God, and you're the
only bum who knows my number.
 
 

Capybara

In this Age of Austerity, human beings compete with capybaras for scarce resources!

If only the capybaras had invested in popsicle infrastructure, as suggested by Paul
Krugman! But now the supply of popsicles is controlled by Superior Life-Forms!
 
 

1947

All I ever wanted was a little bar&grill
with a couple of strippers and a runway.

Ribs, strippers, and bibs!
That's the ticket!

Ribs, strippers, and bibs!
 
 

Mommy

I share my roomette with a torturer.
He or she calls me "Mommy," as in

Mommy, will you help me write an exculpatory memo?
I was born in a morgue!
I probably got hit by a meteor!
I hate the taste of blood!
I hate the taste of blood!

Mommy!

If we only had a boat, or a sofa-bed!
We could watch TV on our sofa-bed, or sail
far far away.
 
 

Lens

Are you the lens of my unlicensed laundromat?
I am.
Did you burn all my underpants?
I did.

Are you my brain?
Are you my sandwich?

I ham who I ham!
I ham who am.

I ham who am and I
burned up all your underpants!
 
 

Generation X-Ray

You may be the pearliest
particle-laureate at M.I.T.
or you may be
the most
ulcerated actuary in Petaluma

You may be fathers and daughters or mothers and sons

You may be nothing and nothing and nothing
 
 

Bad Nicknames

Are you holding my tow-line?
Am I your balloon?
Can you teach me serology?

I'm the Gizzard of Oz!
O ye mighty digerati!
I'm the Gizzard of Oz!

Gag me with a bean!
I can gargle anything!

I can gargle a clam!

Burn the sauce!
Boil the serum!
Burn the sauce!
Boil the serum!

Repeal my peruke!
I'm the Puke of Earl!
 
 

Calf-Skinner

I'm a calf-skinner.
Are you a calf?

Can you recite the alphabet?
Count to ten?
What's the square root of 27889?

I'm a calf-skinner.
Are you a calf?