Malta

Before we met, I was
probably a peanut.

I was pickled by the Huns.
Pickled peanuts!
That's all they ate.
Later Sydney Greenstreet bought me at a yard sale.

He glued wings on me and
called me the Maltese Peanut.

Are we flying yet?

I already waited for a thousand years!

How Scary Is This Movie?

We screamed so much, they had to gag us!
They glued us to the seats!

A tooth for a tooth, and torture for the toothless!

Get ready to gargle!
Get ready to squeak!

Okra

Don't look at the clock!
We could turn into okra!

Our garage is on fire!
We could turn into okra!

Fuh-uh-uh-uh-uh
ucka-fuh-fuh
fuh-ucka-fuh-fuh!

All souls are
barking in a
child-proof jar!

We could turn into okra!

Café des Arts

You may be sad,
you may be smart,
or you may be funny,
my friends,
but the only living art
is the art of money.

Calf of God

Am I calving?
Have a look at my vagina!
Can you see a cow in it?
Now look around for the baby Jesus.

Baby Jesus, is you my fetus?
Baby Jesus, is you my friend?
Baby Jesus, is these the end-times?
Yes they is, child, yes they is!

I-80

Manhattan to Chicago to Omaha
Omaha to Wyoming Nevada Utah
Utah of the Arapaho
abandoned farms far away from the mile-wide highway

Coal towns gold towns ghost towns
Elko Laramie Sioux City Hoboken
Hoboken of the Hackensack
Hackensack of the Lenni Lenape

Bang the drum!
Sing the death-trap tantra!

Obit

I once saw a guy juggle seven knives in Brixton!
He emcee'd the Brixton Oscars!
Inked a bee!
Bit a trike!

He unboned a Brixton ostrich!
It wrote the obit.

Here
lies
the
guy
who juggled seven knives in Brixton,
and now nobody knows the same trick.

A Message from the Maharani

Read my armband!
Grow henna!
Don't drive!

Are you poor,
are you poor,
are you poor,
or are you only
afraid of the fire?

You're afraid of the fire,
and you're already burning!
You're already burning!

The maharani is a raw-boned woman.
She wants to be embalmed in marmalade.
(This is a bad idea.)

Helmet

I got a mullet and a meth-helmet!
What the hell?

Mulct the whelks?
Milk the whales?
Welch on Willie?

I got a mullet and a meth-helmet!
What the hell?