Monday, April 28, 2014

Sigma Chi

I am ill, Sigma Chi!
King Tut bit me!
Then he hurled!
We had to lick it up!
He made us lurk in the basement until Halloween.
Then we killed him.

Hulks in kilts are still dancing on his chin!
They gave him a wedgie.
They ate his glands.

Those hicks should chill!
The Gilded Age is over.
Nobody survived.

I am ill, Sigma Chi!
My world is dying, and I don't know why.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014


I'm a clam at your clambake!
Ack ack!

Are your eyeballs retractable?
Ack ack!

Were you born in re-Borneo?
Ack ack!

Are you more like a crab or a crackerjack?
Ack ack!

Coca in my beak!
Coca in my oboe!

Ack ack!

Monday, April 21, 2014


What do you see?

I see blue sky and stars
behind the blue





Sunday, April 20, 2014


Is my cow from another planet?
How would I know?
I saw her eating laundry at the laundromat.
She was down on all fours!
Eating laundry at the laundromat!
I wish she would eat a bomb!

Thursday, April 17, 2014


You may drown in the darkness of surrender
you may drown in a drop of rain
and even when you drowned in the
nothing of the nothing of the nothing
as soon as you went under
you saw hundreds of hidden suns.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

James Bond

Am I your nursemaid?
I can't drive you around forever!
I wish I had a suicide pill!
All we ever do is drive around and around
and I don't know
how you turned out so wrong!
All your siblings are eagles and peacocks!
Gigantic thoroughbred race horses!
Greta Garbo!
John Wayne!

Your Uncle Freddy is standing on the moon!

Your dad can whistle with his feet!

But all we ever do is drive around and around
and I never wanted to be a Bond Girl anyway!

I get shot all the time!
They made me eat a worm!
I was always naked!

Now my husband and I own a string of laundromats
and all we ever do is drive around.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Are we dead yet?

I designed this terrarium.
A crawdad evolved in it.
He's addicted to seaweed.

Are we dead yet?

Are you a bleeder?
Can I borrow your fur?
Are we bleeding money?

Are we dead yet?

There's a bomb in my brain!
They engraved me with melody-needles!
I married a tree!

Are we dead yet?

Are you clever?
Why not?
Are you clever?

Are we dead yet

Saturday, April 5, 2014


What we need is a fuck-tax.
Fuck-tax on the fuckers!

Rumba dumba!

I got my dumbbell and my ice-ax!

Rumba dumba!

What we need is a fuck-tax,
and if the Duke don't like it...

He can fax us his adieux!

And if the dog don't doodoo,
and if the cow don't moo...

If a much of a Duchess don't chacha...

We can fack-fack-fack-fax them too!

Rumba dumba!

Wednesday, April 2, 2014


I was born in an ethical ant-hill.
I was raised by the ethical ants.

Have you seen the ants dancing?
They dance all the time!
Some of them can even tap-dance!

Tap tap tap tappity tappity tap!
Tappity tap tap tap tap tap!

Can you dance with the ethical ants?
Am I dancing?

Am I dancing the ethical ant-dance?

Blog Archive